So I picked up Tony Robbins' book "Awaken the Giant Within" this weekend and came to some new realizations about myself. I learned that our actions are dictated by our values and I started questioning what I actually value whether it be things, emotional states, etc. It was kind of a difficult exercise for me, I started out with listing the things that I thought I SHOULD value, family, friends, health, etc. But I started to ask myself how do I KNOW I actually value these things? And then I started to work this backwards, I started to look at all of the repetitive actions, behaviors, and things that keep showing up in my life and said to myself, "What values continue to perpetuate these things showing up in my life? Do these things really support the items I thought I SHOULD value, or do they support different values?

 

Boy was I surprised! I noticed that the most repetitive things in my life all stem from my valuing SECURITY. Yikes! Now I'm not saying that it is bad or wrong to strive for security, but I decided to look it up in the dictionary just so I could be clear about what this idea really represented. I was shocked again! The number one definition of security was "Freedom from risk or danger."

 

Do I really want to support myself in being RISK FREE??? I mean, most people that really accomplish great things, that think outside the box and really accomplish what most people would think impossible usually have to risk a lot if not everything. I started to wonder about how I got to this place of putting the feeling of security higher than anything else.

 

I learned that I adopted this value when it was necessary, there was a time in my early childhood when I was in danger and I got hurt and experienced a lot of pain. So it makes total sense that I would put this at the top of my list in order to protect myself. I also realized that the idea of security was additionally reinforced by my family, friends, culture, media, etc.

 

It was important for me to understant that most of us do not choose what we value, at least not at first. We are taught what to value, but we don't see how it affects our actions and ultimately our destiny. Tony says if you change your values, you change your destiny. So I'm thinking it might be time to let security fall a little further down on my list. Maybe it's time to start small, and open myself up to  "little" risks at first until I'm ready for something more substantial.

 

Then I got to thinking, can you really lose if you risk big and fail? I realized you CAN"T LOSE! Now what am I saying here, what I'm saying is if you do "seemingly" fail you still gain something, which is at the very least an education in what NOT to do. And also the self confidence and appreciation for making an attempt. How many times do people just give up before even trying something small?

 

I also got to thinking how valuing security even cuts you off from allowing yourself to have big dreams. For a while I thought I didnt' have any big dreams, and I see now that I was NOT willing to let myself have them because they violated my need to feel secure!